Marriage Myths

I found this great article on MSN about marriage:

‘Don’t go to bed angry’ and other marriage myths
Dale Atkins shares smart, practical advice on separating fact from fiction

By Dr. Dale Atkins
updated 8:26 a.m. PT, Tues., Jan. 8, 2008

For most people, the picture of a perfect marriage is a white picket fence and eternal happiness. But just how to achieve that bliss is subject to wide debate: Do babies really bring you closer? Should you be concerned if you’re not having much sex? How much should you tell your spouse? Psychologist Dale Atkins, author of “Sanity Savers,” helps separate the marriage myths from reality.

Your spouse is your best friend
If you think this way, you'll be in for a big disappointment. Over the years, you definitely develop an amazing friendship with the person you are married to. But it doesn't necessarily start off that way. You develop that respect because you have your own life and your own interests and you support each other through illness, bad times, and death. That is what the basis of the friendship is about.

A best friend is someone you go to the movies with, that you have a lot in common with. But you need someone who you can go through life with, depending and relying on — and that takes time. And you may not tell your spouse everything, but it doesn't mean you are not close.

Don't go to bed angry
When you are lying next to someone and you are seething anger, it's not good. The best thing is to table things so you don't feel like you want to murder the person sleeping next to you. Remind yourself of all the positive things about this person and hopefully you will have a fresh eye in the morning. If you are that angry with somebody, you might not hear what they are saying anyway. It becomes unproductive.

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